A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
