i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
