Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
