Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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