What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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