I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize