i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
