That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
