I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
