I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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