trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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