I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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