OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
