For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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