Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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