You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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