He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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