what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
