I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
