"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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