My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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