Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
