I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
