Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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