i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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