Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
