Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
