if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He felt like a one man threesome
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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