whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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