So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
