Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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