Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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