This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize