but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
