I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
