i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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