Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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