He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
