if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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