too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize