My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
