Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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