Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
