So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
