Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
