i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
