Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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