i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Terrible idea I love it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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