I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
