have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
