Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
