i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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