I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
