Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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