I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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