no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
