So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
