giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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